it's time to get back

i've been trying to remove all the guilt, anger and resentment feelings in my heart. I want to start a life that is new and full of promises. Promises that I am now a hundred percent determined to accomplish and fulfill. I guess, learning the hardest way - I have gained it. I will not repeat the same mistakes again. One is enough for the wise while twice is too much and thrice is already foolishness. I will not depend my life to anyone's hand. I will journey and love the life given to me to the full. This does not mean that I want to simply enjoy and have fun all the time. Of course, I need to sacrifice, to suffer and to undergo challenges along the way. But one thing is sure now, I will never ever quit! Beat that! Well, of course I may not be able to surpass all of the trials that may come along but I am certain I am strong, brave and have the will to go on.

The anger of the past, I hope it will be forgotten and be buried. The pain and the wounds, I hope it will heal. I hope that no scar will be there. I wish to just recall nice, sweet and happy memories. I can no longer afford wasting my time thinking what went wrong, who's to be blamed and who holds the regret and the biggest mistakes. I won't put myself stuck in a thought about my shortcomings and my misses! It's time to forgive myself and others. It's time to let go and move on. The lonely days and nights won't be over soon, but I am always keeping myself aware that I need to shift my thoughts to happy ones and set aside those heavy loads and hurtful memories. The world still revolves, and I can not just stay in a corner feeling all the wounds and staring at my desperate situation. It would not help at all. Well, after almost a month, nothing happened. I am tired thinking. I am tired of hurting. I am tired of blaming myself. I am tired of feeling angry. all these led me into what I am right now. And I have decided to start the first step to providing solutions to my challenges and at the same time, getting myself back into the beautiful world created for me.