minsan lang kitang iibigin

Mahal pangako sa iyo, hindi magbabago
Ikaw lang ang iibigin ko
Kahit ikaw ay lumayo at masaktan ako
Asahan na di maglalaho


Ang pag-ibig ko'y alay sayo lamang
Kung kaya giliw dapat mong malaman....

Minsan lang kitang iibigin
Minsan lang kitang mamahalin
Ang pagmamahal sayo'y walang hangganan
Dahil ang minsan ay magpakailanman....

Minsanlamang sa buhay ko ang isang katulad mo
Ako rin ba'y iniibig mo?
Dinggin puso'y sumasamo,sumusumpa sayo
Ikaw ang tanging dalangin ko....

i thought i'd shed a tear when i heard it this morning...but i did not. i got the last song syndrome and the feeling of sadness was felt.

my gabriel

he's my joy and my strength.

he makes me feel worthy and able to carry on.

he can easily melt my heart with a single stare.

he can remove all the stress and unwind a tired soul in a matter of second.

he makes me continue dreaming and becoming ambitious.

he makes me soar and be humble.

he's my ultimate pride and the only reason to survive.

he is my kiddo, my love!

an irony of life

allow me to call it an irony of life. it was more than a month since we left home. we decided to part ways. and i wanted to set my life away from the hurtful past. and since it's hurtful, i would always aim to forgetting about it. i admit i wanted to untie everything and officially remove everything that would link and remind me of him.

but today, it was a different day. today, i fixed all my papers and prepare my docs for my pre employment. oh yes, it's going back to working mode. i was hired yesterday and was offered one great deal that i was not able to resist

. well, let me go back to 'my irony' i spent the day, updating my surname and my status. from being single to married. if' you'd ask how i felt about it, well i guess i have gotten this immunity that i did not feel bitter and hurting whenever I sign a new name and check on a new status. i find it so crazy because i would never want to go back, i just want to be free and move on. i just want to live and be happy with my son. i do not want to recall the bad times. but i spent my whole long day, seeking ways on how i can change my surname and my status. and i might regret it tomorrow for i may not be able to change it again next time...hahahaha that is if there's next time... can i just revert back to my maiden name and be single for good? that sounds nice to me...but it'll cost me a lot and i can't afford to spend a single dose of energy for that matter at the moment..maybe tomorrow when i have enough resources. in the meantime, allow me to tag this day as an irony of life.

it's time to get back

i've been trying to remove all the guilt, anger and resentment feelings in my heart. I want to start a life that is new and full of promises. Promises that I am now a hundred percent determined to accomplish and fulfill. I guess, learning the hardest way - I have gained it. I will not repeat the same mistakes again. One is enough for the wise while twice is too much and thrice is already foolishness. I will not depend my life to anyone's hand. I will journey and love the life given to me to the full. This does not mean that I want to simply enjoy and have fun all the time. Of course, I need to sacrifice, to suffer and to undergo challenges along the way. But one thing is sure now, I will never ever quit! Beat that! Well, of course I may not be able to surpass all of the trials that may come along but I am certain I am strong, brave and have the will to go on.

The anger of the past, I hope it will be forgotten and be buried. The pain and the wounds, I hope it will heal. I hope that no scar will be there. I wish to just recall nice, sweet and happy memories. I can no longer afford wasting my time thinking what went wrong, who's to be blamed and who holds the regret and the biggest mistakes. I won't put myself stuck in a thought about my shortcomings and my misses! It's time to forgive myself and others. It's time to let go and move on. The lonely days and nights won't be over soon, but I am always keeping myself aware that I need to shift my thoughts to happy ones and set aside those heavy loads and hurtful memories. The world still revolves, and I can not just stay in a corner feeling all the wounds and staring at my desperate situation. It would not help at all. Well, after almost a month, nothing happened. I am tired thinking. I am tired of hurting. I am tired of blaming myself. I am tired of feeling angry. all these led me into what I am right now. And I have decided to start the first step to providing solutions to my challenges and at the same time, getting myself back into the beautiful world created for me.

pag ibig

o kay sarap nga naman ng may minamahal. bawat sandali ay punung puno ng kulay. ang mga labi ay laging may bitbit na ngiti. ang mga mata'y kumikislap, naghuhudyat sa pusong maligayang nangungusap.

ang tamis nga naman ng pag ibig. mga bituin at ang buwan ay iaalay. walang bundok na di bubuwagin. walang imposible sa umiibig.

mga pangako sa isa't isa'y nagbibigay ng kakaibang ligaya at kapanatagan. ang bawat bukas ay pinaka aabangan. ang mundo ay tila paraisong ninanamnam. ang langit ay abot kamay kapag ang puso'y pinagbigyan.

o pag ibig, sana'y ikaw ay maging akin.

katapusan...ang hangganan

hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit nagkaganito. isa ba itong sumpa. ako'y tila paslit na walang lakas. ang mga braso'y lupaypay. ang mga talampakan ay nagkakapalan. ni minsan hindi tumulo ang luha gaano man kalalim ang sugat. kahit isang salita ay walang namutawi. lahat ay ikinukubli ng dila. ang mga mata'y malamlam at puno ng hinagpis. ang puso ay nag uumapaw sa galit. ang mundo ko'y binabalutan ng muhi at hinanakit. nais kong lumimot. talikdan habangbuhay ang bawat mapait na sandali. hayaang baunin ng lumipas ang bawat sakit na dinanas. ibaon sa nakaraan ang rehas ng pangmamaliit. ni minsan ay hindi inusal, maging isang krus ng kabiyak ngunit sa bawat araw na lumisan, batid ko ang bigat at kahirapan. ipinukol sa aking harapan, isiniwalat, ipinagsigawan, ako'y inutil, ako'y basahan, ako ang pasang krus sa buhay. ang mundo ko'y niyanig ng hapis. malungkot. mahirap. malupit. ito ang katapusan. ito ang hangganan.

isang yugtong titiklupin. isang pahinang nararapat punitin. maitim man ang sulat ng pluma, titiyaking mabubura ang bawat letra. kasaysayang hindi na dapat balikan. ito ang katapusan. ito ang hangganan.

sadlak

nais kong ika'y makausap,

masabi lahat ng nararamdaman

pangungulila man o hinanakit,

ako'y ilayo sa dilim ng hinagpis.

nais kong maglaho

ang pait ng pagkawalay

ang pagtanggap sa wasak na pangakong

habang buhay magkatuwang

sa hirap man o kaginhawahan.

nais kong limutin

mumunting matatamis na sandali

upang hindi na muling manabik

pusong pinupuno ng galit.

nais kong manindigan

na wakasan ang mapait na kapalaran

hindi na muling aasa

sa pader na nilumot at rumupok

noong aking sinandalan.

habang ang dilim ay nakabalot

hayaang malublob sa puot

punyal na itinarak

untiunting winawasak

hindi man umaagos ang luha

dalamhati'y lumalalim, di' humuhupa

ang buwan at mga bituwing sambit

larawan na lamang ng masamang panaginip

sa bawat ihip ng hangin

ang bigat ng damdamin ay sumasalin

ganito ba ang pag~ibig

daig ang kumunoy kung kumitil.